Returning To My Roots

24 May

I’ve been reflecting about my blog and thinking about what I want to tell you for days now. When I first started blogging, I was very open with my thoughts on books as well as the quirky happenings of my personal life. Lately, my blog has been on a bit of a pause, and I’ve been quite closed off about it. Well now I’m ready to talk about books and what’s been going on in my life. 

I’ve been going through quite a mental, emotional, and spiritual struggle lately. That’s because I’ve had a constant period for 8 months. To this day, my doctor has no idea why this is happening. I’ve been through countless doctor appointments, blood tests (I hate needles!), tried a myriad of medication, two hospital trips, and one surgery. Thankfully, my doctors have found a pill (that’s extremely high in estrogen) which temporarily stops my problem. It’s more like a band-aid than a solution, but after what I’ve been through, I’ll take it. The only downside that still remains is that although I have all of my “parts” it will be a challenge for me to have children (when I’m not taking my pill, my problem returns). That really hurt to hear because I want children, I want a big family. 

To throw salt in my emotional wound, my values-challenged coworker got pregnant and guess who ended up throwing her baby shower? Yup, me. Although I wanted to scream no when she asked me to throw her a baby shower, I couldn’t. I didn’t want to come off as a judgmental jerk at work. It was like nails on a chalkboard all the way through, but I got through it. And I can’t help but mention that I didn’t get a single “thank you” from her. 

Overall I have grown increasingly angry and bitter over the months. I keep thinking about what I’ve done to deserve this. And I slowly withdrew from everything, including my blog. After much reflection I can see that I’ve slowly lost my passion for life. I didn’t want to share what has been going on because I don’t want to come off as a woe-is-me downer. No one likes to be around a complainer, and I didn’t want to become one. However, I wanted to give a special thank you to a few people who have surprised me with their constant care, thoughts, and well wishes throughout my struggle. I want to thank Tarah Scott, Pauline Baird Jones, and Christina Crooks. Ya’ll are more than amazing authors, you are truly my friend! I also want to thank my associate reviewer Aretha for helping me with my blog.

As I’ve been successfully recovering from a constant loss of blood and nutrients, I’ve been thinking about my blog for the last couple of weeks. Really thinking about what drives my passion for blogging, what makes me happy, what keeps me going. I realized that I need to get back to my blogging roots, so I’m making three changes. 

1. Fire Pages will be more than just a romance book blog. I am now accepting mystery, young adult, contemporary romance, and historical romance novels for review. I enjoy reading more than just romance novels, so I’m not limiting myself to reviewing only this genre.

2. Fire Pages is only accepting contemporary and historical romance novels. I only have a limited amount of time to read and review novels. With that being the case, I am no longer accepting erotica and GLBT novels at this time. 

3. I am sticking to my review policy. When submitting a review request, please send all of the info required on the review policy page. It really saves me time when putting posts together.

My next review will be posted on Tuesday, May 29, 2012. I will be sure to keep an updated calendar on the side bar with the upcoming dates of future reviews. Until then, I’ll be reading my TBR pile. Have a happy weekend!

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4 Responses to “Returning To My Roots”

  1. Laura Burks May 24, 2012 at 8:21 AM #

    I had no idea you have been going through all of this. Without a doubt, you ARE an amazing person, and although we’ve never met in person, I’m sure I could pick you out of a crowd by your generous and outgoing personality. While reading your blog, my heart was broken for you. We all struggle and question what we do and don’t do. I myself have questioned many times if writing is where I need to be. It takes a lot of valuable time away from your family and life in general, so I know where you’re coming from on your blog. Take care of yourself first. All the other extras that you are so good at will still be there when you’re ready. Sending prayers your way for a speedy recovery. :)

    • Fire Pages May 28, 2012 at 10:42 PM #

      Thanks so much Laura! You’re an amazing friend and I’m lucky to have you in my life!

  2. bonnieedwards May 24, 2012 at 10:45 AM #

    I’m so sorry to learn of your struggles! But please don’t give up hope of a family. Miracles occur every day. I’ve had similar situations over a couple of years and had meds adjusted to normalize life. I know what you’ve been through can be downright terrifying.

    I give blood regularly. Every 56 days I roll up my sleeve and let the vamps have their way with me. :) I walk out knowing I’ve helped someone through a scary time.

    Leading up to donation time, I post on Twitter and FB, hoping to rally some other donors. I feel like a nag until I hear a story like yours. Last time I donated to told the nurse about my coaxing efforts and she asked if I’d ever had anyone say I’d got them to donate.

    I’ve never heard back from anyone yet, but that’s no reason to stop asking people on the net who follow me. :)

    I won’t quit asking…so you don’t quit hoping!

    Take care of YOU.
    p.s. my next donation is June 6. This will be #82 I think…maybe you could help me get the word out? Please don’t think 82 is a great number…when I go I regularly talk to people who’ve done 100 – 200 which gives me hope that I can get that far too!

    • Fire Pages May 28, 2012 at 10:42 PM #

      Yes, I will definitely help spread the word. Thank you for the kind thoughts Bonnie!

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